Why Can't We Be Friends
by bandgeek4547
Summary: Stiles and Derek meet while working for competing pizza delivery businesses. All human. Alive Hales. Eventual Sterek. Background Cora/Lydia and Scallisaac.


Derek didn't know how he had let himself get talked into this. He is a 23-year old college graduate; he should not be out delivering pizzas on a Friday night so that his little sister can go on a date. But unfortunately, due to years of practice, Cora is a master at manipulating Derek into doing things for her she does not want to do herself. So rather than ask any of her coworkers to cover her shift, she let the owner (who had always had at least one of the Hale kids working for her for the past decade) know that Derek might be helping out every now and again because "he has nothing better to do right now so he might as well let his baby sister have a social life". Which led to Derek finding himself forced into his old Pizza Hut uniform, which was almost uncomfortably tight, and driving around doing something he swore he would never do again after he graduated high school.

His evening had been pretty dull so far when he pulled up to a large house that he vaguely remembered belonging to Beacon Hills' high end attorney. He steps back after ringing the doorbell and watches another car turn onto the quiet street. This wouldn't have held his attention for long except for the fact that he can see the Dominos sign attached to the top of it. He recalled Laura calling him last year for her weekly update on Beacon Hills' gossip, and she had been absolutely livid that another pizza chain would even think of setting up shop. _"Pizza Hut has been the only pizza delivery place in Beacon Hills for almost twenty years! Just think of what the loss of business could do to poor Mrs. Nguyen!"_ She had continued along in a similar way for 15 minutes before Derek had finally interrupted her and asked about Cora and school. At the time he hadn't cared at all about another pizza place being built, he was 3 hours away at college and he couldn't be bothered with the business politics of Beacon Hills. But now, being in his old uniform and having talked to Mrs. Nguyen earlier, he felt a strange protectiveness over the place that had employed most of his family at one time or another. He sees the Dominos car, an old blue jeep, pull up in front of the same house he is standing outside of and he can feel a slight scowl form on his face. Right then he hears a voice yell from inside the house, "I'll be there in just a minute!"

Derek sighs and shifts his weight so that he is leaning against the outside of the house and watches as a young man nearly falls out of the jeep. He catches himself on the car door and then leans back into the car to grab the pizza boxes off the passenger seat. As he backs himself out, Derek hears a dull _thunk_ as the man bashes his back of his head on the car roof. Derek suppresses a grin and thinks to himself that injuring himself must be a common occurrence for this boy because he continues moving without a pause. In fact the only sign that the boy even notices braining himself against a metal roof is that Derek can see, as he steps into the light of a street lamp, he is muttering angrily to himself. To Derek's annoyance the boy continues to walk towards the same house Derek is waiting outside of. He has brown hair in a buzz cut and the long, lanky limbs characteristic of teenage boys who grew taller faster than they could fill out. When the boy finally glances up from the box he is carrying he sees Derek and grins. Hoping to discourage him from attempting to start a conversation Derek starts scowling again. But instead of deterring the kid, his grins grows wider and he says, "Hey now, don't blame me for the fact that the douchnozzle that lives here was crass enough to order from two pizza places at once." When there is no response, the kid tilts his head slightly and looks at Derek with a mischievous smile spreading across his face as he bursts into song.

"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?"

Before Derek can get over his shock at the unexpected serenade, the front door opens to a blonde teenager who looks as if he is ready to kill the singing boy. "Stilinski, shut the fuck up!" "Douchemore, hand me the money so I can leave. And really, ordering pizza from the two competing pizza businesses in town? Talk about a dick move." The teenage customer starts counting out exact change, which he then hands to the kid, Stilinski, with a flourish and a smirk. He continues to smirk as he pulls a twenty out of his back pocket and hands it to Derek saying, "Keep the change." He then grabs both pizza boxes and shuts the door.

"Asshole," Stilinski mutters.

"Yeah because not tipping the guy who insults you seems like a total dick move," Derek replies with a roll of his eyes. Stilinski lets out a bark of laughter, throwing his head back, "Nah. He wouldn't have tipped me anyway so why waste the opportunity to insult him? Plus, dude, I just came up with the Douchemore thing this morning and have been waiting to use it. It's a pretty basic insult to be sure but its very versatile and can be used in just about any conversation so I'm kinda disappointed I didn't think of it earlier." He talks with his whole body as they begin to walk back toward their respective cars. "So tell me, how did Cora rope you into covering her shift tonight? 'Cause you are clearly not a high school kid," his hand gesturing up and down Derek's body as through providing evidence, "being forced to deliver pizzas because the pizza places are one of the few places in town that hire teenagers. And I know Cora normally works Friday nights." Derek raises an eyebrow wondering why this kid would know his sister's work schedule. "She's on a date."

"Yeeeeaaaaaah, I know that," Stilinski scoffs, looking askance at Derek as though that should have been obvious. "She's out with Isaac while he tries to convince himself that he isn't hung up on Scott and Alison, and she is trying to hide her relationship with Lydia. What I asked was how did she convince _you_ to cover for her? Do you even work at Pizza Hut? How old are you?"

Derek tries to process all the information he was just given. He doesn't remember high school relationships being that complicated but then again he spent more time playing sports than trying to get dates. "I used to work for Pizza Hut when I was in high school, the owner remembers me and let me cover Cora's shift. And I'm 23," he adds as an afterthought. As they reach their cars, Stilinski starts talking again – something about college, menial degrading jobs, and class wars. Derek stops paying attention and just watches the kid, the empty pizza carrier tucked beneath one arm and the other arm waving wildly about as though trying to draw pictures in the air. He walks with his body half turned toward Derek, tripping over every other step but clearly used to his own clumsiness because he manages to keep himself moving in a straight line without interrupting his speech once. As they reach the curb and their respective vehicles Stilinski seems to pause for a moment before asking, "So, I know you're Cora's brother, but which one? Cause calling you Cora's hot older brother in my head is a little long." He coughs the last part out with a hesitant quirk of his lips.

Derek wants to laugh at how obvious he is being but thinks that it might be taken the wrong way, so instead he gives him a genuine smile and says, "Derek."

"Derek. Okay. My name is Stiles. Well then Derek, would you be interested," Derek cuts him off, "I don't date minors. Its nothing personal but I just prefer not to have to worry about being accused of statutory rape." Stiles pauses for a second as Derek climbs into his car. Just before he shuts the door he hears Stiles call out, "Does that mean if I wasn't seventeen you would have actually considered going on a date with me?" Derek can see his mouth hanging open and his question comes out a strange mix of hopeful and incredulous as though the idea of someone accepting a date with him is about as likely as winning the lottery. Instead of answering Derek puts his keys in the ignition and drives away.

Later that night as Derek helps close up the store he wonders why he hasn't heard of this Stiles kid before. Cora isn't the type to tell people her relationship drama in general but especially not to someone she isn't close to. Following that logic she and Stiles must be very good friends, and yet Derek can't remember her (or Laura for that matter) mentioning a Stiles. He ponders it for a couple of minutes before shrugging to himself and deciding it doesn't matter.

Derek gets roped into taking two more of Cora's Friday night shifts over the next month so he decides he needs to have a legitimate excuse to avoid it in the future. Going to Jungle and attempting to speak to people outside of his family not only gives him an excuse to refuse helping Cora, it also means he can tell Laura and his mom to stop bugging him about getting a social life. He spent less than an hour at Jungle before leaving with a gorgeous man to head back to his apartment.

Which is how he finds himself walking into the apartment complex parking lot at midnight overhearing Stiles and Cora argue loudly.

"Oh come on Cora, you can't tell me that you actually dislike Star Wars! I mean really?" Stiles throws his hands up in the air, his entire body telegraphing his frustration. Cora looks unimpressed and rolls her eyes, at which point she notices Derek. She narrows her eyes and Derek has the sudden wish that he had taken a little bit longer to get redressed, he knows that his shirt is quite wrinkled and that he has at least one hickey visible above the collar. Stiles follows Cora's examining gaze and sees Derek. He grins widely and waves him over like a long lost friend, to which Derek can feel a responding grin work its way onto his face as he walks towards them.

"Derek! Dude, tell your sister that Star Wars is not overrated and is in fact awesome."

Cora bares her teeth in a grin as she says, "Der. Nice to know that you still feel the need to sneak back home after getting laid. If you're trying to be subtle you might want to hide that hickey."

Derek sighs knowing that she would only be giving him tips on hiding what he had been up to if she wanted something in return but before he can ask Stiles groans loudly.

"Man, why is everyone I know getting laid except me? You," he gestures towards Derek and then swings his hand towards Cora, "you and Lydia, Scott and Allison, even my dad and Mama McCall. Its not fair that I have to live vicariously through the sex lives of my friends."

"Oh please Stilinski, any time anyone mentions their sex life you complain."

"Well that's because Scott is the only one to say anything and all he does is rhapsodize about Allison's beauty – its boring. If he and Allison would stop teasing Isaac and actually let him join in I might get some good stories. But for that to happen you would have to stop using him as a beard and just admit that you and Lydia are fucking like rabbits. On that note I would greatly appreciate stories of your sex life with the goddess that is Lydia."

Derek interrupts before Cora can respond, "And I would prefer to keep the illusion that my baby sister has no sex life." Cora scoffs and Stiles smiles indulgently at him. "So on that note, I'm gonna head home. Drive safe you two."

Turning away he finishes the walk to his car. He hears Cora and Stiles from behind him.

"Seriously Stilinski? Stop checking out my brother's ass, you have no chance."

"No way! If only checked out the people I had a chance with I wouldn't get to ogle anyone. Plus that ass in those pants, it would a crime not to admire it."

Sigh. "You're an idiot Stilinski."

Derek hears Stiles mumbling a reply but he is far enough away at this point that he can't make it out. He starts his car and begins driving back to the house. _Stiles Stilinski_. That explains why he didn't remember hearing about a Stiles, Cora always referred to him as Stilinski while Laura had a tendency to call him the Sheriff's kid. He pulls into the driveway and thinks that he wouldn't mind running into Stiles again some time preferably, though, without the commentary on his sister's sex life.


End file.
